Robbie English, our Sustainability Officer, has compiled his report for the past few weeks.
“I have your chart all completed. Allow me to explain what it is telling us. Our sustainable progress is coming along nicely at a rate of 69%. Things are moving quickly! Most of this is due to the process of sharing blankets, pillows and the cuddling (which cuts down on the heating emissions). There are some negative numbers too unfortunately. Our methane footprint is coming in at 6%, due to our clients passing wind in such a concentrated area in the bed, although things like these are at times unavoidable. The good news is I don’t see it getting any higher, unless someone shits the bed, then we will have a problem on our hands. I think we should put a contingency plan in place for this situation. We also have a large plastic waste footprint coming in at 20%. This is due to the large amount of condoms being used on the premises. Although this is quite large (like the condoms am I right!?) we should also see the positive side of this as we are clearly champions in the art of safe sex, which we 100% condone. On the plus side we also have a healthy sprinkling of Ios, which is reading at 5%.”
We are very happy